is it love or lust?

Lust or Love? This is How to Tell the Difference

Entrapped Dilemma
love or lust?

For a lot of people, the question is which one is better. Lust or love? The answer to this question is not so cut and dry, but it all depends on what you’re going for. Do you want a fleeting emotion that will evaporate with time? Or do you want a deep and meaningful connection that will last forever? Both lust and love can lead to happiness, but they’re very different things with their own unique qualities. Here are some ways to tell the difference between the two.

1. Lust is an intense passion; Love is a deep feeling

Lust is a very special bond that is meant to be temporary. Lust is not a good feeling that always leads to happiness, it’s an emotion that means you really want something very, very bad. Romantic love is the kind of feeling meant to last forever and that can be hard to define. However, it’s certainly deeper and more meaningful than simple lust. In fact, according to, “Lust is a purely sexual desire,” while romantic love has to do with lasting love, “filled with a passionate desire for another person.”

2. Lust is when he is waiting for the big moment to come

While lust is a momentary feeling, romantic love is all about staying in love and sticking with it forever. The keyword in all of this is commitment, and he is never going to commit to someone whom he only wants to have sex with, for a short time.

Love is when he is ready to commit forever

If you or your partner is ready to commit then he is in love, and the relationship will be everlasting and that’s all the romantic feelings you’ll need to have. The kind of love that comes from taking romantic chances and staying open to love, is also the kind of love that lasts forever.

3. It is Lust when he wants what he can’t have

For lustful people, they’re basically “searching” for a relationship so they can have what they want and then move on to something new. The key to being a lustful person is being drawn to someone who doesn’t care about them as a person.

It is Love when he wants someone who would stay with him forever

If you’re more romantic than lustful, you’ll be truly content and committed to a romantic connection, knowing that your partner is in love with you and wants to stay with you forever. Love does not change, it’s a connection, meant to last forever.

4. Lust: overwhelmed feelings

When your attention is on a sexual partner, your focus will base mainly on sex, and the moment you have sex, you’re not necessarily focused on anything else in the relationship. When you’re only focusing on sex, then that is lust because you’re more likely to act out and lust is not a good thing.

Love: owned feelings

When you feel your feelings, it is love because you don’t act out your feeling. Also, when you take a romantic risk, you don’t act out your feelings by acting out.

5. Lust: you’re seduced by the escapist feelings of pleasure

Lust is about physical gratification, while romantic love is about intellectual fulfillment and emotional fulfillment. To satisfy the need for physical gratification, you seek out people who can fulfill that need in a more primitive way. The kind of partner that you’re lusting for might not bring you any intellectual or emotional satisfaction, but it will bring you a lot of pleasure at the moment.

Love: you want to connect on an emotional level

In a relationship, you have to be open to sharing your feelings and being with someone who shares the same emotions as you. Passion is an extremely intimate feeling, and you’re more likely to truly love someone if you’re willing to experience that intimate moment with them.

Lust: you don’t do anything In advance to find a relationship

Because lust isn’t about a long-term connection, it’s often about instant gratification, so it’s not a good idea to search out and search for a partner. It’s easy to fall in lust and a much harder thing to truly connect with someone.

Love: you make your choice and don’t look back

The good thing about true romantic love is that you have to be in it for the long haul. However, because you’re committed, it’s worth the struggle. You’re going to be committed to the person for a long time, and that commitment is what will keep it going and keep it alive.

Do you struggle with lusting after someone you can’t have? Is that lust causing you to take advantage of your partner? Share your thoughts and stories below.

Maryam Awodele
Maryam Awodele

Hi, I'm Maryam

A super zealous research writer and fashion enthusiast who specializes in teaching others how to look good and feel good through fashion tips, reviews, and lifestyle tips. Here at Shodamia, we believe that quality information is key to helping individuals to look & feel good. So, we do our best to provide our readers with well-researched, reliable, and practical tips that cater to their unique styles and preferences.

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